Thursday, August 5, 2010

Don’t waste your life or your money on college.

It's almost here the start of a new school year! As my son goes off for his first day of kindergarten I have a cousin who is trying to navigate her way into college....3 weeks before school starts! She's stressed to the max and I asked her why she hadn't started this process sooner! She thought she had! This got me to thinking of all of the mistakes I made in college and what ultimately led me to not completing my degree. 

Planning for college starts your freshman year of high school! Oh the sins of my freshman year haunted me during college application time. However, I persevered and made it to college only to not have planned wisely and thus I wasted a large portion of my life and money on college.

Don't let this happen to you! Here are 15 tips on how to not waste time or money on college!

Monday, August 2, 2010

Managing work, your own business, and your home life.

So how does one woman do it? Maintain a 9-5, work her own business, and manage to do the laundry, homework, and cooking for her family? When you find out you tell me! I often sit at my desk at work and say to myself, if I were home right now I could be getting so much work done for myself! This job is in the way of my success!

 I rarely find the time to fold laundry let alone become a guru of social networking, making weekly YouTube vlogs, writing in my blog and manage to produce a solid product. One person can only do so much. But who has the money to hire an assistant or one of those social media consultants? For a start up business with no money those are expenses I just don’t need or have the funds for. So I have this great idea and nowhere to utilize it! I’m at a stand still and I don’t know what to do!

My best weapon of defense?

Sunday, August 1, 2010

Why am I still working for someone else?

This is a question that I ask myself all the time. Especially when my boss enters my office and gives me a list of menial tasks that any trained monkey can do. ‘Can you make me some tea, oh and fax this letter, and when you’re done can you open my mail?’ Open your mail? What, are you afraid of paper cuts? How can a person be placed into a position of authority and supervision over a staff of 30+ people, yet has never acquired the knowledge necessary to operate a fax machine.

Okay so maybe they are busy and delegation is the most important trait of a boss but seriously, some things are just degrading to ask your “assistant” to do. I often find myself sitting at my desk daydreaming of owning my own business and being self-employed. So, I ask myself. Why am I working for someone else? Answer, fear! I have 2 kids to support and I need steady income. 

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Light Skin vs. Dark Skin

People get over it. You can have three siblings in one family and all three will have a different skin color. Hell my left arm is darker than my right because of driving in my car with my arm out the window. (Trucker's tan)

I've never been obsessed with color. My mom is ebony and my dad's the color of a banana. And they are both Creole. We have so many shades in my family it's not even funny and no one has ever said one tone is better than another. Actually that's a lie, I've always been told that darker skin is better because it doesn't show blemishes as easily. Which is true.

Every little think marks my skin and face and I hate it. And fade cream does not work! I've tried it on my shins and knees from my clumsy childhood scars and they haven't gone away not one bit.

One thing that I can say negative about GH vs. BH and LS vs. DS was the reaction I received when I was pregnant with my son. My son is half Filipino and the whole time I was pregs everyone kept saying how beautiful he was going to be because mixed babies are so beautiful. And black babies are What? Chopped liver? I was having a mixed baby but I wasn't having a mixed baby just to have a mixed baby if that makes sense.

The lady on the Tyra show was saying she refuses to date black men because she wants a mixed a baby with "good hair' then her daughter comes out and has the worst hair on the stage! I fell over laughing. DUMB ASS!

I will admit that I was curious what my baby would look like but I think that's natural of any expecting mom. We want to see their little faces. My son was born looking very asian and it scared me that he didn't look more black. I don't know why. He had slanted eyes and bone straight hair and very pale skin. I was like, I'm going to look like his nanny!

His hair started to wave up a little when he became about two and now if I keep his hair short the ends will curl. If I let it grow out a little his hair turns back straight. So he has what I would consider european hair. I was hoping for a little texture like lenny kravitz or cree summer. That would have been cool. but it is what it is. (he's darker now too) I still get the what is he? question at the super market and I say he's bi-racial and I turn around. I don't have to go into my son's genealogy with a total stranger and it's not good for my kids to see me giving out personal information to strangers anyway.

I don't understand why dark people feel persecuted by their dark ebony skin. And I equally don't understand the misconception that dark skin = more black.

How much european is mixed into your blood has nothing to do with your skin color per se. My nephew is half white and half black and he's darker than me. My daughter's dad is half mexican and half black and he's way darker than me. Even my daughter is darker than me. My really good friend has a mom my color and a dad the color of wesley snipes and he is lighter than both of them and has red hair and green eyes.

Black people need to wake up. We are diverse, beautiful, and unique. That's what makes us special. I love the fact that we come in so many shades and tones. It does make it harder for us women to find makeup that matches perfectly but I don't want to look like the girl next door. I don't want to have the same hair, skin color, and swagger as anyone else.

Why do black people always feel like we don't measure up? We are just as smart, beautiful, talented, and driven as any other race. Don't let your own ignorance be your own limitation.

You can't blame white people anymore for not understanding your culture and heritage. They may not have taught you more than "you were a slave then martin luther king came along and now you're free" in High school history but now you have unlimited resources to find out who you really are.

Just like you found this blog there are so many internet tools available to find out about your heritage and where your people came from. Read some slave journals, learn about how people of the time thought of slavery as a business, and a way of trade not just a way to degrade people.

Understand how that reflects on how your company treats you now. It's all about the almighty dollar, that bottom line. Why pay people to do something when I can make them work for free? Which is why many companies today ship our jobs over seas because they can pay them less and make them work 18 hours days for $5 a day.

Watch African American Lives. This originally aired on PBS and it is the study of a man that did DNA sampling to trace back black people's origins. He also told them what percentage of what each of them were. It's available now on netflix. This was really fascinating to me. There were white people on there that turned out to be actually black. And black people saying they had "indian in they family" that turned out not to have not one drop of indian in them. I wish I had the money to have this done. I would like to know what part of Africa my ancestors were from.

I have spoken to my grandmother in depth about my heritage and learned that her grandfather was their slave owner. She remembers living on his plantation to a share cropper father. When her grandfather died they were forced to leave the plantation. She of course never called him grandfather, but she knew who he was. Her grandmother was his slave and house woman and she worked in the house with him. he was never married and he kept her on as his servant even after slavery ended. It's amazing the stories your grandparents and elders can tell you about the "bad ol' days" as my grandma says.

Now that I know who I am and where I come from topics like this doesn't matter to me anymore. I don't care what skin color or hair texture I have. I'm just happy to be a strong black woman!

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Standards, GET SOME!


Standards, Get Some

Being a single mother doesn't mean that you can't have a great man that will love and appreciate you!

Love is available to everyone regardless of your situation. You do not have to make a certain amount of money or social status to find a great guy. Do not let other's define you and dictate to you your worth!



Monday, February 15, 2010

Oyin Handmade, WHO?

Often times a natural will ask me what products I use in my hair because my hair looks so awesome. Well Right after I blush and thank them for the wonderful compliment I tell them my secret is the Oyin Handmade product line. I'm soon given a what the heck is that look. It's crazy how so few people are hip to Oyin Handmade. They are wonderful products and much more affordable than traditional all natural products. I have been using them on me and my children's hair since December 22nd and I'm no where near running out. The products are so heavily concentrated that you only need a very little bit. 

The Products I have used are:

Head to Toe Honey Wash - $10
This is a sulfate free shampoo. Intended for people that do not use products that contain silicones. I will be honest it is not a clarifying shampoo so I do recommend Clarifying the hair once a month. This is perfect for semi weekly wash and gos. Does not leave the hair stripped in any way.

Honey Hemp Conditioner - $11
If I could, I would marry this conditioner!!! I love love love it. I also love the fact that you don't have to rinse it out because everything in it is good for the hair and scalp. I have deep conditioned with this conditioner also. I noticed a change in my hair from the first use. I will never use another conditioner on my hair. It leaves your hair soft and silky. Great for detangling hair too. Gives hair plenty of slip. This has a pleasant citrusy smell. I noticed my pillows all smell like this now from me going to bed with wet hair. lol

Shine and Define Styling Serum - $6
I use this to twist my hair. I noticed it does not lay down my edges but it does make my "baby hair" curl up. This isn't a GEL it's a styling serum. It's a creamy consistency. twists are soft and pliable. not sticky and stiff. The shine and define does not flake. which i love best about it. Once it dries in the hair, you won't feel anything on the hair. (unlike my IC fantasia gel.)

Juices and Berries Nourishing Herbal Leave In conditioner - $11
I use this to refresh my hair the next day. It has glycerin in it so it's a humectant. It smells like jolly rancher candy. I spray my twists with it. Or I use it to reactivate my Kinky Curly. This is so versatile, and the only product that I'm almost out of.

Whipped Pudding - $6
I love this stuff so much better than the shea butter mix I made. It's not waxy and it's very smooth. A little goes a long way and I can definitely tell when I've used too much. This is great on Arrington's super thin hair and keeps away the frizzes all day. Has a little bit chocolatey, cocoa butter smell. YUMMY!

Oyin Handmade also has products for Skin care, children, and men. I've never tried any of those but If they are half the quality of the products I've tried then they are worth their weight in gold. Their website is: http://oyinhandmade.com/

This is a black owned company and they have been around since 2003. They really do make everything by hand and they take pride in their products and it shows. I actually didn't buy these products directly from them I bought them from Curlmart.com only because Oyin was on a winter hiatus at the time. 

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Natural Hair Journey - The First Blow Out

 So I'm 6 months post 2nd bc and I wanted to do a length check and trim! So I decided to blow out and flat iron my hair! EPIC FAIL! It came out a greasy mess! I of course had no clue what  I was doing and the next day I went out in the rain and it completely frizzed and stuck on end buckwheat style! I was so unhappy and miserable! 3 hours of work down the tubes in 3 minutes time! Oh well, at least I got the opportunity to see my length. I used shea as a heat protectant and used only half power on my flat iron. I was very unhappy with the results and washed it out the following morning!